deep{er} #24: reflections

Hello, friends:)


Welcome back! I'm so sorry that it's been 2 weeks since I've posted some reflections--- I am hoping that I will be posting regularly soon again. I think I will be able to as soon as we get back into a routine and when we feel comfortable with our new positions at the church. My apologies if I miss a couple of dates.

UPDATE: So I've already established that the last 2 weeks have been busy... but I haven't told you about how crazy chaotic everything has been. It doesn't really seem like things are chaotic... but to me it feels like time is going faster, and I'm not accomplishing ANYTHING that I need to get done. So that makes me feel like it's "crazy chaotic". I'm sure others know what I'm talking about... right? LOL! 

Anyway, there have only been a couple of minor happenings in the past 2 weeks...

1. My tooth has begun to hurt. This is a different one than the 3 that needed fillings in January. It's my tooth #13 (whatever that means! LOL!)--- it's always been a good tooth, and randomly a week ago it started to hurt when I ate, drank, brushed my teeth, and when I was breathing. I went into the dentist the other day, and he believes that I need a root canal. WHAT?!?!?! He's as perplexed as I am because this tooth is a "virgin tooth" and nothing has been wrong with it. I am going to a specialist on Monday to figure things out and possibly get a root canal. I would appreciate prayers for healing-- THANK YOU! 
2. My ankle continues to hurt. It's the left side of my left ankle (which hurt before but it hurts a bit more now). I am back in my boot for most of the day. I walk around the house without the boot and sometimes with a brace on. I probably have walked on it too soon... but I'm sure you understand my frustration of being in a boot since November 15th! LOL! Either way, I will be going to the doctor on Monday for that as well. Trav thinks I need physical therapy... I just want to be able to walk normal soon! 

It's kind of funny, but not funny... I said that the year 2015 would be a year of healing for me. So far I've had 3 filings, another tooth problem that is unknown at this point, and I continue to wear my boot with pain in my ankle. I still believe that the year 2015 will be a year of healing for me--- I am HEALED! 

OH! I forgot to tell you--- I was on the radio again! I called into the Midday Connection show to talk to a master gardner about our plants in front of our house. I said that I have a 'black' thumb instead of a 'green' thumb. It's true--- these bushes/hedges WILL NOT grow! The advice I received was to get the soil tested, go to a trusted nursery/plant store, and buy a book about growing plants in Florida. Hopefully in a year (after we have completed these tasks), I will be able to post a different picture of the front of our house! HERE'S the show if you want to listen :)

We have planted bushes several times, but only the one is able to live. So for about 2 years, we had dead bushes in front of the house... just last year we ripped them out and now have nothing! LOL!  

REFLECTION: As for my reflections... it's been all over the place just like my life. Literally! I've been gathering info, listening to sermons, reading different books, and thinking about it all! It's driving me nuts because I don't know what to share. It's just too much info and it's overwhelming me.

So I'm going to share a couple of things today from a couple of different sources. 

1. Response- this is in regards to THIS post where a family member mentioned that "God grades on a curve". Trav and I were sitting at New Hope Main Campus a week ago and slide came up on the screen that said "God doesn't grade on a curve. He grades on the CROSS!" BAM! That's my answer! Now I just need to remember that when I'm told about the grading curve again. And honestly, praise the Lord that I'm graded on the cross-- even my best are dirty rags to God [Isaiah 64:6].
2. Moody Radio- I recommend this radio station to EVERYONE! There are so many great sermons that are played daily... and this past week they aired the lessons taught during Founder's Week at Moody Bible Institute. The theme this year was "Running the Race". Am I running the race? Am I running to win? To be honest- not really. I would rather live in my comfortable little bubble than run and sacrifice for someone else. This week's lessons were... WOW! I can't wait to find time (which won't be for awhile I'm sure) and listen to them again. This point of "running the race" goes along with Chapter 7 of You and Me Forever, which I will talk a bit about next. It's just crazy how God is redirecting my thoughts and actions-- I'm almost positive this year will have a radical change for me because I am realizing that it's not about ME! It's about HIM! I want to stand before God and hear him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant" [Matt. 25:23]. I want to be the example as I walk through trials and know that the pain in life can remind me of my future rewards and is nothing compared to the glory of Heaven [2 Cor. 4:17].
3. You and Me Forever by Francis/Lisa Chan- I've finished another book! And this one was... well... hard to swallow! Each chapter made me rethink what I believed and how I looked at life. I'm seeing Heaven and God's mission with new eyes! Where was this book when I first got married? Or even before?! I highly recommend this book (NOTE: this book is about marriage, but mostly about you and your relationship with God and how if we have a good relationship with God then our marriage/parenting/etc. will fall into place). Here are a couple of thoughts and reflections that I've had in some of the chapters: 
1. Marriage Isn't that Great (that's the title of the chapter 1)- I'm really blessed to be married to Trav and I often ask, "How did I get so lucky?" This chapter is all about my relationship with God. I'm puzzled by this because I thought I had great relationship with the Lord... I pray and read my bible, and I LOVE bible studies and sermons on the radio. And I think I've been thinking about the last 10 years of my Christian walk-- I was fooled and thought that I was living like Christ. I thought I was on the right track, and I was. I was right where God wanted me, but God wants me to go deep{er} with Him and that's why I'm where I am at now.  This relationship with the Lord is way different than I'm used to--- there's prayer but also listening. I'm not good at that, but I'm in desperate need of doing better so that I can hear the Lord and obey His commands. I need to cleanse my mind with God's Word. I need to stand firm on His promises. WOW--- how different my life is going to be with this as my focus. 
2. Pursue the Perfect Marriage (chapter 2)- I am not perfect, but I am made perfect in Jesus. He got rid of my ugliness. I've been looking at my heart and just how ugly it is... I would go into detail but I'm not ready to confess to you what I need to confess to the Lord. Again this chapter drove home the point that it means nothing to be a Christian if I'm not living like Jesus or embracing everything that is Christ-like. This makes me think of all the sacrifices I don't want to do because I'm lazy or because it's inconvenient or I'm under qualified/etc. I need to be focusing more on Jesus. 
3. Learn to Fight Well (chapter 3)- OH MY! I honestly thought when I was reading this chapter that I had finally 'won' in this book- it's a chapter about humility and I knew I was humble! LOL! In our class, I literally said that I needed to go home and apologize to Trav because I have been wrong this whole time. I am not humble at all... and I don't "fight well". I need to recognize that when I'm angry or fighting with Travis... that it's Satan trying to get in the middle and mess things up. It's not Travis! And the part that cut the deepest was on page 70 "God actively fights against a proud person. The pride required to win your argument and defeat your "enemy" provides you with a new opponent: GOD". OH MY! I face God every time I'm fighting Travis, the humble, etc. No wonder I don't win! I'm in need of a change of heart, Lord! I don't want to fight you anymore! Humble me and help me to think of others instead of myself.
4. What's Really Best for the Kids? (chapter 6)- uh... I wanted to skip this chapter. Honestly, I thought I would read it (to be a good student) and not even highlight in it at all... SO NOT TRUE! I highlighted so much! There are great lessons for parents in this chapter. But that's not what got me thinking the most... it was the comment on page 171, "But I certainly don't want to be the one who eases up on the standards or sugarcoats the rules in an effort to appease my kids. This would clearly how that I fear them more than I fear God. It's tempting to parent out of fear like that." (THUD!) I have said for about 8 years that I don't want kids. Why? Because I can't handle them... I'm not sure I could be a good mother... They take up too much time and money... The birthing process- need I say more?! But honestly, it's because I have a fear! And I'm allowing this fear to control me. I fear raising kids/having kids MORE than I fear God. Again, I need to get my priorities in order and find out how to fear God more than anything else!
5. The Amazing Race (chapter 7)- I've already talked a bit about this chapter above. This chapter just hits it home... I need to be focused on Heaven. Run this race and don't quit when I hit retirement age. I need to run faster and stronger then (just like Caleb [Joshua 14:10-12]). I might not have come into this race until 2002 (when I accepted Jesus as my Savior), but that doesn't mean I have wasted time... I can still run and finish the race with strength and endurance (I just need to get out of this boot first! LOL!). I can't wait to be old, running, and serving the Lord. When I die, I will fall into the arms of Jesus--- the race will be won! HOOOOOORAY:) 

Whew! That was a long reflection! Technically I was writing for last week too:) LOL! 
  
My goals for this week:

1. Pray pray pray (this is still on my list of things to-do) *I'm doing good... hopefully I will share a video of my prayer journal next week:)
2. Start a new book--- not sure which one, but I'll keep you posted;) 
3. Continue with Today in the Word Acts Bible study. *I'm on chapter 12. 
4. Continue with chapter 5 of the Dr. David Jeremiah Agents of Apocalypse *This is the chapter where Trav and I can be seen on the TV program Turning Point--- The Dragon! Check out my original post HERE.
5. Start working on my 2015 Spiritual Goals. *Honestly, I usually don't get to my "New Year's Goals" before March! LOL! So I've got time to get them sorted out:) I've started working on my goals, and actually have completed part of some... I'll share more in a video soon! 
6. Find time to complete another video for you-- this is mandatory! I've got SO much I want to share;) 

I pray that God has been speaking to you--- and that you are blessed beyond what you have asked or wanted ❤️. I also am praying that God would open our eyes and heart to His Will, love, and Word. Remember, if you need prayer, please contact me {savannahland2 at comcast dot net}. 

THANKS so much for stopping by today! Be blessed:}