18 October 2014

deep{er} #12: reflections

Hello, friends:)


Thanks for stopping by today-- I know I'm a bit late in posting... it's been a rough week again. I need a vacation from my vacation to get back on schedule:) 

UPDATE: *If you follow me on Facebook, you have already seen this photo. 

Last Sunday, Trav and I received a message that we were on the Dr. David Jeremiah Turning Point TV show! I had forgotten that we visited Dr. David Jeremiah's church in August- and I NEVER thought that we would be on his show because he wasn't even preaching that day! But I watched Sunday's show about The Dragon (episode 5) (LOOOOOOOOOVE this new series), and there we were! We were featured for about 5 seconds!!! We weren't even at the church for that sermon!!! So weird! LOL! 

REFLECTION: My reflection this week is real short. I had a rough week (dealing with a specific situation at the gym, trying to get into a routine, etc). We also heard from an old friend from our former church... old thoughts/feelings have been swirling in my brain. 

I'm tired.

I'm ready for this to be over.

I want to take a step of faith but which way? Where do I go?

I want to go deep{er}... I don't think I'm making any progress at all! I don't want to go deep{er} into the pit... I want to get deep{er} with God. Unfortunately, I think this pit might be getting darker because it's getting deep{er} and I'm not getting out.

I apologize for not sharing more thoughts from my studies. I just feel like I take one step forward and twelve back. How does one make progress when you're being pulled so far back? 

Trav says that I'm making progress (he says the same thing about losing weight... but I don't see it. The scale definitely doesn't say I'm losing weight.). I'm getting restless in this waiting period. Restless and anxious. Please answer me, God! I want to obey You... but I can't hear You. 

(sigh)

I know... I need to pick up my cross and continue running the race. Honestly, that's hard with a broken heart and hurting soul. I guess I really haven't completed the grieving process, and I bet this is just a way of God saying, "Sav- you REALLY need to forgive those who've hurt you." I thought I did...and I've asked God to help me forgive them several times... but I'm still hurt and holding on to grudges.

What can I say? I'm a "work in progress". 

(sigh)

So this week... I'll be picking up this cross and working on forgiveness. One step forward and however many back... this time, THIS week- I'm going to continue...I'm going to keep my eyes on Jesus the best I can... I'm going to get out of this pit if it takes me 100 years! OH Lord, I pray it doesn't take me 100 years! Please help me get out of this pit within 2014! Or even by the end of the October... or better yet... by the end of this week! Thanks:)

**This is just proof that I am going forward and moving back... one week I have a great reflection and then the next week I'm in the dumps. 

My goals for this week:
  1. To slow down and have some silent time before prayer (more on this later)
  2. Get Travis to order me the Dr. David Jeremiah Agents of Apocalypse study set (CDs, books, and study guide)!!!!!!
  3. Finish TW'14 notes
  4. Continue to pray/read my devotions daily  
I pray that you are having a better week than I am--- and that you are blessed beyond what you have asked or wanted ❤️. Remember, if you need prayer, please contact me {savannahland2 at comcast dot net}. 

THANKS so much for stopping by today! Be blessed:}
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4 comments:

Miriam Prantner said...

Rough weeks are no fun! Praying you have a better one this week!

LINDA SMITH said...

Please stay strong. Satan loves it when we tire and falter. I believe we are all "a work in progress". None of us, I believe,are where we want to be. We are all sinners but the beautiful truth is that our Father loves us and will lead us. God bless you, Linda lrsmith18@aol.com

Larissa Heskett said...

OMG OMG OMG!! =) WoW!! How AWESOME to be on that show!! =) I's SENDING TONS of HUGS SWEET SAV!! =) TRUST me when I say I know about trials and how each day it can seem SO STRESSFUL just to move forward!! It's NOT EASY, But SO WORTH the wait and Work!! Keep it up and Sending LOVE Prayers!!

Maria said...

Wow! I must need to read these posts from you, because this one spoke to me, also! I'm having issues with forgiveness, also. I know it's not the Lord's way to feel this way, but we are human. Again, a journey. And, I must work at it more. I hope thins improve for you, too. I'll keep you in thought and prayer, hugs!