25 October 2014

deep{er} #13: reflections

Hello, friends:)

Again I'm late! Time just got away from me yesterday to proof my post... and then I realized I didn't have anything written! I had stuff to say but didn't write any of it out! LOL! 

I'm SO glad you stopped by! THANKS for "walking" with me... even if I'm late:) 

UPDATE: As I'm writing this... I'm beginning to think I'm not the ONLY one tired of my trial.

I bet YOU are tired of hearing of this trial and how I go from up to down to confused to focused... last week I was looking at my own situation, not on God. Some old habits and thoughts came creeping into my mind. This sent me on a downward spiral. Good thing I have Trav. He really helped me get focused. And I've always have God.... but I don't always go to Him first. 

Funny that He knows all of this and called me out on it this week. He had some sermons and broadcasts or blog posts specifically placed into my path this week that DRILLED into my hard skull what I need to do during this trial: 

Sunday 10/19- Church of Hope, Pastor Scott
Apparently I was hungover on my self-focused-self-centered-pity party because I had a bad attitude the entire day (all the way to church, during service, and on the drive home). But what did God have planned? A sermon about God as our Victory/Nissi [Exodus 17]. 
Lesson Learned: I can't be focused on myself- I have to look higher. I am NOT alone- Trav is with me and so is my God. Battles are not short--- WHAT?!?! This trial could go LOOOOOOOOOONG?!!?!? If I haven't won, then this battle isn't over. And most importantly, I need to go surrendered. I can't win this battle if I don't surrender to God. 

Ok- I've got it, Lord. Thank you for the reminder that I need to look to You and not inward or at my situation. I understand that this battle might be longer than I want. Help me to surrender to Your plan (which is way better than what I want or could imagine). Why do I want to hang on when I know You've got something better for me?! 

Monday 10/20- our devotions
I guess that this theme of "reminders for Sav" needed to be continued another day because Trav's devotion for the day was about Job and his trials, as well as how his friends gave bad advice. Trav mentioned that his devotion pointed out that God didn't answer Job for 6 chapters. I get it! I get it! Lord, I understand that this trial might be for awhile. Help me to hang on and not give up! 

My devotion on the True Woman blog.... Five Ways to Glorify God While You Wait. Are you serious?!?! Lord, I'm going to read this at another time... I get it! I'm supposed to glorify You in the good and bad...I know I'm in a waiting period...I know this trial is going to go long....do I really need to have so many "reminders"? 

Tuesday 10/21- Moving Forward with Dr. Stephen Rummage, Jesus In Your Storm
Are you kidding me, Lord!?!? Another series and sermon about a storm!? Ok... (deep breath along with a sigh) I'm listening. *NOTE: The day before (series before this one) was about FORGIVENESS! GOOOOOOODNESS! I guess God wants me to learn about this storm and then go back and learn about forgiveness, which was my goal for this week- to forgive those who've hurt me.

Wednesday 10/22- Passion Tour with Louie Gigglio and Kristian StanfillChurch of Hope
WOW! What a concert/set of worship and sermon! I love listening to professional worship leaders! I'll be honest---sometimes I get jealous because I *WISH* I was a great leader like them. 

Funny thing about this night was that Louie did 2 different sermons- he just started talking about God's will and how to know if we are in it. That's exactly what Trav and I are wondering! Where are we going? What should we pursue-- should we still lead worship? Where? When? How? Are we qualified? ***OK--- most of these questions are mine. Not sure if Trav is really thinking this, but I'm sure he might think of some of these too! 
Lesson Learned: God's will isn't complicated. Ask yourself, "What are you most passionate about?"... pursue that and try to make the biggest impact for Jesus while serving where I'm at. I was dead before Jesus came into my life. I can't do anything if I'm dead- I can't change anything/my situation. I need Jesus. Louie also mentioned that there was a "cry for help" and then no answer for 400 years. From the last page of Malachi to Matthew... 400 years passed. Then they cried out, "God is back" [Luke 7]. 

Oh Father. I was kidding last week when I said I would wait or work on this for 100 years... I don't think I can! And I know I can't wait for 400 years. I will do my BEST to get through this today...and then I will work on tomorrow. One day at a time. Help me to not give up but to glorify you ALWAYS! 

Thursday 10/23- Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Lee DeMoss (radio), Prayer for the Battle
I'm not even going to tell you what I was thinking... but Lord, I'm REALLY listening now. Thank you for putting these series and sermons in my path at just the right time. Help me to listen with my ears, heart, and mind. 

Friday 10/24- I was with Trav most of the day getting the windows tinted on my new car. I did find some time to read that TW blog post. 
Lesson Learned: Things to do when waiting (and glorify God at the same time): 

  1. Do what comes next- I am on the right path. I am trying to not get stuck or frozen in my situation. Keep moving forward.
  2. Evaluate my heart- Has the thing I want or miss or what I'm longing for become my idol? Did this longing replace my longing for Christ? Good questions... I can say that it did for awhile and that I'm trying to get back to Jesus satisfying my soul... not the world or my wants.
  3. Be where you are- ok... this is a bit tricky. We are trying to "be" here... I need to remember to glorify God, pursue the works of the Kingdom, live faithfully for Christ- WHEREVER I am... God will use me! 
  4. Trust in God's sovereignty- this "season" isn't a mistake; God has a plan. There is a sovereign purpose for this trial... during this waiting... I'm trying to trust God with this.
  5. Continue to cry out- one day Christ WILL return and the wait will be over! At the TW conference a week or so ago, I heard someone talk about crying out continually. I feel so stupid when I cry out over and over about the same thing. I guess I need to work on this. I need to continue to cry out for answers, as well as to be placed where we can serve! 
That brings us to today... and I have to be honest that I didn't want to go to church tonight. Trav wanted to hear this new series by Eddie about the book of James. I knew this topic/sermon/etc. was going to hit me right between the eyes! I knew it! 
Lesson Learned: Psalm 34:1-3 How do I praise the Lord at ALL times? Suffering with dignity honors God. True joy comes when we pursue God's presence. Trials are joy when God is our goal. Most of the time, we are trying to get out of the trial--- when we do this, we miss the journey with God. Anything "good" in me/in my life is from GOD! Perspective of what He's done for us will help me find joy in this trial.

(sigh) I see what You're saying, Lord. I apologize for not focusing on You but on me and my situation. I made you smaller than my problem. I think I get it--- and if not, I know that You will help me understand again tomorrow with a scripture reading or broadcast. :) Thank you for continuing to run after me and help me understand- esp. when I want to give up or have a really bad week. Thank you that You love me so much that You won't let me drown in these waves or in this storm. THANK YOU for your plan! Help me to focus on YOU! 

REFLECTION: I think I've shared my week's reflection in my update:) LOL! 

I'll leave you with this photo of our study room. Doesn't it look so pretty in the Fall sunshine!? (Don't mind the open closet door- that's where I hide all the stuff that just sits around and doesn't have a place! LOL!)

My goals for this week:
  1. To slow down and have some silent time before prayer (more on this later- NO REALLY! I promise to share more on this later!)
  2. Get Travis to order me the Dr. David Jeremiah Agents of Apocalypse study set (CDs, books, and study guide)!!!!!! *This did not happen last week... and the 30th is the last day we can order this set! MUST SUCCEED by the 30th!
  3. Finish TW'14 notes and begin on Monday the TW Manifesto with Courtney
  4. Continue to pray/read my devotions daily  
      I pray that God has been speaking to you--- and that you are blessed beyond what you have asked or wanted ❤️. Remember, if you need prayer, please contact me {savannahland2 at comcast dot net}. 

      THANKS so much for stopping by today! Be blessed:}


      Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

      Beautiful post!!! Loving your study too!!!

      Maria said...

      Thank you for this post! I feel I have a long battle in regards to my son. And, I have to let go and let God! Your post reminded me to do so! It's a journey...amen!:-)

      Pat Schaefer said...

      Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Praying for you. There are seasons of trials we go through, times that don't make any sense to us at the time, or maybe even never in this lifetime, but it is an opportunity to test and strengthen our faith. Not fun to go through. Good in the long run. Hang in there.

      Pat Schaefer said...


      Bex Bricker said...

      Thank you for being open & sharing with us. I really needed this post! It seems like the battle is never-ending for me, like over a year long. Sometimes I lose sight of Who is really in control & that He is bigger than the battle.

      Bex Bricker said...

      Thank you for being open & sharing with us. I really needed this post! It seems like the battle is never-ending for me, like over a year long. Sometimes I lose sight of Who is really in control & that He is bigger than the battle.