deep{er} #10: reflections

Hello, friends:)


Welcome back to my Saturday/deep{er} reflections!! I know I was a day late last week (HERE) and that throws EVERYONE off! But I just had too much going on with my new car!!! Which I am in LOOOOOOOOVE with, by the way:) 

UPDATE: I've been working on getting my prayer journal just the way I wanted it the past month... and I think I finally have it in one book that works for me! I originally wanted a mini binder, but I just had too many papers in it to fit! 

While working on this journal (transferring some prayers to my new notebook), Olsen decided to bother me... he wanted to play catch with his Chick-fil-A cow toy! LOL! I snapped some shots of him bringing me his toy and then those sad eyes of his that said, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, Mom!!!!!!! Please play with me!"

Sorry for the blurry pic- when Olsen wants to play, he doesn't stop moving! LOL! 

How could I pass up playtime with this super cute face!?!?! 

***NOTE: while writing this post, Olsen growled at me... NOT CUTE! But I still took him outside. LOL! Guess he knows how to get my attention.

You can see that some of my prayer journal in those photos--- I am hoping to share a video after I return from my trip!  

REFLECTION: Two things really struck me when I was studying this week. I'm going to focus on those today: 

1. Suffering- it's kind of weird. I feel like I'm in a state of wandering and wondering from this trial. I wonder when it will end, and I'm wandering around like I don't know where to go. I know that I've been hurt from this trial... but this week, I heard a couple of points about suffering that really struck me.
• Jesus SUFFERED- I need to remember that his suffering was way more than I have had to endure. And for that, I need to thank Jesus! I couldn't imagine being perfect and having to live through the torture, mockery, whipping, spitting, betrayal, and so much more. So....Thank you, Jesus, for suffering for me- for replacing me and covering me with your blood. My suffering hurts and is painful, but I'm comforted knowing that you know this pain since you've suffered as well. THANK YOU x10000000 for your love for me!
• What is suffering? I heard from a speaker on Today in the Word briefly describe suffering as the following: when someone or something we love is taken away. So what was taken away from me? I believe realizing this list (below) has made me see that my pain is real and that it will take some time to recover (I kind of wanted this trial and suffering to end as soon as possible but I guess that's not how this works!)... These things/places were taken from me: 
• the only place I had worshiped and led worship
• a "safe" place and sense of security
• my "church"
• my friends- which were really my family because I moved to Florida knowing no one... 2 weeks after moving and attending that church several times, a hurricane destroyed my new hometown... I had no one but those in the church. 800+ people that I called my family were gone once we decided to move on.
• my heart for worship- I've questioned if I can worship ever since March of this year
• Why suffer? So there were more things I could have placed in that list, but you get the point! This week I heard Beth Moore talking about suffering and the reason behind it (which I know because I've read When Life is Hard). I suffer because suffering produces fruit. It says in James 1:3, 4 that I should consider it pure joy when facing trials/suffering because this produces perseverance and that I will be mature and complete (lacking nothing) if I let perseverance finish it's work. Then it says in James 1:12 that blessed is the one who perseveres...they will receive the crown of Life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him. I need to stop being sad (which is ok for awhile- and honestly, I was doing well... but then I got in the dumps... and I couldn't get out... you know how it is!), but I need to literally live James 1: 3,4,12 ... I need to count this as a blessing and do the next bullet point....
2. Praise God- so this entire Prayer study has mentioned several times that I need to praise the Lord. I've done that... or so I thought. It wasn't until this week that I realized I really hadn't praised the Lord for my situation and what came from the 10 years of being involved on the worship team at our former church. I've stated a couple of things here and there... but I need to list them out and PRAISE Him...
• Oh Father, thank you for guiding me to the exact church you wanted me at to develop friendships, a passion, and my worship/leading skills. Thank you for leading me to this church... where I started on the worship team in 2005... met Trav on the team... married Trav...and continued to serve for 8 more years with my husband. Thank you that you brought me out of my shell and stretched me with leading/singing. Thank you that I was able to play piano a couple of times for worship-- and I pray that I would continue to practice and work on those skills. Thank you that Trav and I know what our calling is and that we are passionate about worship/singing for You. Thank you for the opportunity to use my voice to serve you for 10 years. Thank you, Father, for covering me each week that I was on stage--- I know my attitude wasn't always the greatest...and that sometimes I messed up the notes or made it all about me...I'm thankful that You were able to cover that and use me for Your glory! Lord, I'm thankful that there is more for Trav and I. Thank you for bringing us out of a place when we needed to grow and find You. Thank you that we are able to worship at other churches and fill in for their team from time to time. Thank you for what You have in store for us... I pray that Trav and I wouldn't lose sight of what's eternal as we suffer in pain and loss during this trial. I pray that we would ALWAYS serve you and that we would be able to worship You on an even deep{er} level as we seek/find You in this trial. Father, thank you for Your love. Thank you for this gift of growth. I praise You for Your plan... and for Jesus- THANK YOU, Jesus! Amen ❤️

My goals for this week (I leave for the conference, so this week my goals are short):

1. Take notes and report back on the True Women '14 conference
2. Take pics of Courtney and I at the conference;) 
3. Continue to pray/read my devotions daily  

I pray that this post has blessed you ❤️. Remember, if you need prayer, please contact me {savannahland2 at comcast dot net}. 

THANKS so much for stopping by today! Be blessed:}