28 September 2014

deep{er} #9: reflections

Hello, friends:)

***After 3am EST- please click HERE for my Paper Smooches SPARKS post and creation:) 

Welcome back to my "reflections" post... a day late;) 

I think it's ok to reflect on Sunday! LOL! 

UPDATE: So this last week was even busier than the week before! My Jeep Liberty Sport overheated on the way to church, as well as when we were headed home after service! So the entire week, Trav was busy setting up times to meet with dealers and researching vehicles... I was busy with... well, the usual (crafting, working out, kind of cooking, meetings, etc). 

The reason I'm late on my reflections is because all day on Friday Trav and I were making deals and bought a 2015 Honda Fit-EX:) I loooooooooove it! The best part is that Trav can fit in this car! LOL! It looks small, but he fits! LOVE IT:) 

So you might ask, "You're late due to buying a car?" YUP! I was reading the car manual instead of writing this post Friday night! LOL! 
It reminds me of my very first and MOST FAVORITE car--- 1980 Ford Festiva. LOVED that car! But now I love this:) 
REFLECTION: So this week, I finished the Prayer series by David Platt, Radical. Click HERE and HERE for the other notes from this series. LOVED it! I also started another series and plan to finish one more study this week. Honestly, I was all over (in a random way) this week in devotions...

Here's a bit of what I learned this week:
  • David Platt- Prayer is planned and spontaneous. I never thought of types of prayers, but I kind of do both. 
    • Planned is just daily specific prayers. I have a prayer journal that helps me remember everyone's requests, and there are different sections for family, friends, the World, and more. Hopefully, soon I will share a video of how I've set this up and how I keep track of Praise Reports/etc. 
      • This planned prayer is easy for me, except when it comes to praying for myself. I still have a hard time believing my prayers for myself; however, I'm doing better than last week. I just need to take one faith step at a time. I think I'm really trying to just "hear" God... and sometimes He's silent. I am uncomfortable in silence. It makes me think too much... so technically, I don't really have "silence". This is even true when I'm in a group setting or with Trav's family.... someone should always be talking and having a conversation. When there is a pause.... I get anxious. Maybe it's because I think I'm boring them or that the other party wished I would go since the conversation is "done"... I'm not sure, but silence is something I'm working on. The other thing that happens when I get silent is that I sleep. I've got to work on my energy! 
    • Spontaneous is allowing the Holy Spirit to bring to mind someone or something to pray about. 
      • I think I do this, but I do it in a "real format". Let me explain--- for example, I will pray for people riding bikes on the road as I pass them. I pray for safety, coolness (since it's usually hot outside), and that they would get to their destination quickly without getting rained on/etc. I count this as "spontaneous" because I don't really know these people. 
      • But what I think David Platt was talking about is that I need to be aware of when the Holy Spirit prompts me as I'm praying or when I'm going about my day (or even if I wake up in the middle of the night). I did noticed that I had "spontaneous" thoughts of people more the past week--- i.e. I was reminded of a friend who needs healing (physically) while working on a project. I started to pray for her and her husband and then wrote them an email asking how they were doing. I think that's one way I can be spontaneous in prayer. 
Other than that... I just feel like I'm still sitting in a pit. I have "understood" this trial and that there is a purpose for our hardship, but I'm not completely out of it. That just leaves me sitting in this pit until the light comes. Sitting here makes me think a lot. And the funny thing about thinking about our trial is that I go back and forth between Truth and lies. You would THINK I would remember to dwell on the Truth... the battlefield is in my mind! 

Plus, I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm gripped by fear. Fear of failing. Fear of not doing my studies right. Fear of not hearing God (and I question if I heard Him before)... this fear is coming from me being rocked by this trial in addition to the wonder of what is going to happen now. So just when I think I'm growing from this trial and applying what I've learned... it's almost as if I take two steps back. I can't let this drag me down! I know I've come a long way! I know the Truth--- I will come forth as GOLD (Job 23:10), I shouldn't fear anyone or anything (Psalm 27:1), and God has a plan (Jer. 29:11-13).

Knowing is definitely easier than believing in my heart. I'm in need of handing these fears to God. This is my goal for next week- letting go and really trusting God. I know that I'm going to fall, but at least I will be falling into His hands (which are bigger than the universe)! 

*NOTE: I apologize for the random reflections. I guess random went with my week. 

My goals for this week (I just noticed I have LOTS of goals-- kind of ambitious!):
  1. Hand fears over to God-- let go completely! 
  2. Continue to pray/read my devotions daily.
  3. Start REAP or Inductive study--- small steps but at least start it! 
  4. Create video of studio to share with you:) And possibly create a video of my Prayer Journal/Binder. 
Only about 11 days until Courtney and I leave for our conference! I've got lots to do to prepare! 

I pray that this post has blessed you ❤️. Remember, if you need prayer, please contact me {savannahland2 at comcast dot net}. 

THANKS so much for stopping by today! Be blessed:}


Lisa said...

A new car is always fun, congrats sweet friend!!

Miriam Prantner said...

Love the car pics! I never read the manual, you are much more responsible than me. It does often feel like following is a pendulum where we're swinging back and forth wildly from truth/lies, fear/trust. I'm just trying to get the pendulum to swing a little less widely....